S4 Episode #7- Kellie Haddock
THE ONE WITH KELLIE HADDOCK
Kellie Haddock is a singer, songwriter, wife and mom. A former widow, Kellie has lived through tragedy and found hope and joy on the other side. Her emotive music draws from real-life stories of beauty, heartache, hope and the celebration of life.
The Thank You Project, a short film featuring Kellie’s story of gratitude after tragedy, has attracted more than 150 million views and has been featured on The TODAY Show, The Huffington Post, and Cosmopolitan among other national and international media outlets.
Kellie has performed in Iraq, Israel, China and across the U.S., offering music that engages the soul in all of its beauty and vulnerability. She has sung and spoken alongside Tim Keller, Christine Caine, Andrew Peterson and Lynne Hybels among other respected leaders and musicians.
Kellie released Leave The Light On (featuring Sara Groves) in 2013 and Mandarin Lights (recorded in Mandarin Chinese) in support of China Partnership in 2014. Her work is featured on Sandra McCracken’s Psalms album, which went to No. 1 on iTunes. Wild Love, (2017) blends powerful, energetic pop with rich emotive lyrics.
All Shall Be Well, (2018) offers a refreshing splash of 25 classic hymns featuring sweet layers of ukulele and vocals. She’s also created a hymn songbook arranged for ukulele and voice as the perfect companion to the album and was a #1 new release on Amazon.
Peace On Earth, (2019) Kellie’s debut Christmas album, featured on Ann Voskamp’s blog, speaks straight to the heart of today’s struggles. Kellie’s music is infused with hope and longing for healing in the broken places and in every heart that hears it.
Kellie loves getting to speak and sing of God’s goodness and faithfulness at women's conferences, leadership retreats, church services and on podcasts. She’s currently booking for the upcoming season. Book Kellie for your next event here. Thank you for helping us share this message of HOPE!
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The Love of the Father
Kellie struggled with an eating disorder from a young age, but God used AJ (her future husband) and her involvement in leading worship to transform her life and show her who she was created to be. In her early season of marriage, God continued to use AJ to show Kellie that she was lovable– That she was loved, cherished and adored by the Creator of the whole universe.
This is true of you too!! YOU are loved, cherished and adored by the Creator of the universe. You are not a mistake. You have great value and worth!
JEsus is Lord
One night, Kellie, AJ and their baby boy were driving home when they were hit by another car. AJ was killed instantly. She has snapshots of memories of that night.
When Kellie first heard the news from the hospital chaplain that AJ had died, her very first words were, “God is good and Jesus is Lord.”
No one can say, “Jesus is Lord” except by the power of the Holy Spirit. She realized that it was the Holy Spirit already empowering her and providing for her in her darkest moment– helping her do what she couldn’t do in her own strength.
Her son, Eli, had a traumatic brain injury, so she stayed busy and was terrified of grieving. She was afraid to be honest with God. She felt like she needed to present God on a silver platter and defend his goodness to the world. BUT God’s goodness is not contingent on what happens to us.
Honesty in Grief
About two and half years after the accident, Kellie was reading Job. In the very end of the book, there is a section called, “God restores Job”. In this passage, God says, “My friend Job, I want you to pray for your friends about not being honest with me or about me…”
Kellie realizes that Job’s honesty with God is the very thing that made his intimacy and friendship with The Lord grow. In that moment, Kellie felt the permission to finally be honest with God. This is the moment when her grief became real. This is the moment when she finally began to heal.
At this time, Kellie stepped away from being in the public eye because she realized she had been finding her identity in the things she did for others. For many years she dove deep into her relationship with The Lord. That healing happens where no one else sees. It happens in a way that we cannot force, but rather we must receive.
In the moment, this grieving wasn’t pretty. If you are going through a hardship right now, don’t be afraid to sit in that and not wrestle through it. Sit in your grief, listen to the Lord, and allow His love to wash over you.
Kellie shares that she is 17 years into a grief journey that she will be walking for her entire life. You can’t compare where you are in your story to where anyone else is in their story. Hope does come.
The Faithfulness of God
Five years after the accident, Kellie was remarried.
Last year, Kellie’s husband had to have quintuple bypass surgery and there were major complications in the 14 hour surgery. The doctor told Kellie that her husband was 10 minutes from bleeding out and dying. Kellie was staring into the face of being a widow again. THIS was the moment where it became clear to Kellie what she had learned about God’s character over the past 17 years… She knew that God had never left her, He was always faithful and He could continue to provide, no matter what happened next.
God’s faithfulness is not contingent on what happens. God’s faithfulness is His character– the very nature of who He is. When devastating things happen, that does NOT mean that God has turned His face from you. He will still provide. He will still be the same. When we get angry with God, we have mislinked our circumstances with His character. However, His character is on such a different level than anything we can fathom. God will provide and cover us no matter what we have to face in life.
God is bigger than you. He’s got you. He will not abandon you! When Kellie looked back at her life, she realized that there was not ONE moment where God had abandoned her. There were so many dark, messy and painful moments… but God was there through it all. She had a vision of a dark road at night with glass covering the road. There was a man on the road and the man was pushing away the dark clouds that were trying to cover the moon. At that moment, Kellie realized her story of the crash didn’t really start when the chaplain came in and told her the news of her late husband. Rather, God was still with her when the car was racing toward them. God was still with her when it all fell apart. God was still with her when the glass shattered. He was standing in the mess of it all, pushing back the darkness so that she would not be consumed.
What moment did it all fall apart for you? When did the glass shatter? When was the mess made?
Our God is the same yesterday, today and forever. He enters into the mess and he actively pushes back the darkness in your life. You are not consumed! You are here and you’re showing up!
Hope and gratitude are choices before they are emotions. Usually we must choose them first and then we will experience them.
Final Thoughts
You are enough! God’s got you. He’s not angry or disappointed with you. He is not waiting for you to fail or mess up. He just wants to wrap His arms around you and tell you how much that He loves you and how proud He is of you!
Prayer for today
“Lord, where is your beauty in my life today? Where are you working? Where are you doing a new thing?”
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