S7 Episode #8- Tori Hope Petersen
THE ONE WITH TORI HOPE PETERSEN
Merry Christmas! This week we are honored to welcome Tori Hope Petersen to the podcast! Tori is an author, speaker, podcaster and advocate for vulnerable children. In this episode, she shares about her new book, Breaking the Patterns that Break You: Healing from the Pain of Your Past and Finding Real Hope that Lasts, and how to break free from the lies that you may be believing in order to experience true healing and freedom in Christ. She shares a powerful message of hope for the New Year and reminds us that we are each loved and made with a purpose.
A LITTLE MORE ABOUT TORI
Tori Hope Petersen is an author, speaker, Bible teacher, and lover of people. Since coming to faith, she has shared her testimony and life as authentically as she can to help and offer hope to others. Tori is known for her fierce advocacy work for foster care, adoption, and vulnerable children. At home she is a wife and mama who enjoys cooking with her children. With a deep value for family, community, and hospitality, Tori and her family love to make extra food for whoever might stop by. Her new book, Breaking the Patterns that Break You, will be available nationwide February 4, 2025.
ABOUT THE BOOK
[From the press release] Tori Hope Petersen grew up in an unpredictable, dysfunctional and abusive environment, moving through more than twelve foster homes before she turned eighteen. Now a sought-after national speaker, bestselling author and host of the I Love You Already Podcast, she inspires other women, moms and children with painful pasts to overcome adversity and change the world.
In her new book, Breaking the Patterns that Break You: Healing from the Pain of Your Past and Finding Real Hope that Lasts (Thomas Nelson, February 4, 2025), she shares the profound ways she finally found relief and broke the patterns that plagued her. Through vulnerable storytelling, therapeutic insights and biblical teaching, Petersen gently leads readers into a healing, life-changing journey.
“If you see yourself as small or insignificant, if you see your pain as irreversible, or if you are just so aware of your brokenness that you feel powerless even in the presence of God, now is the time to cast yourself on God’s love,” writes Petersen. “It is in being wounded that we realize we were never healed as we thought we were, which puts us right where we belong—in the loving arms of our Abba Father.”
Breaking the Patterns that Break You guides readers to recognize destructive personal, relational and generational patterns and discover tools to find lasting freedom. Petersen aims to help others feel less alone in their brokenness and rebuild the homes we create within ourselves, making sure they are sturdy and safe places to reside.
LISTEN
WATCH
SHOW NOTES
Tori grew up in an abusive home and was in foster care for many years. Even before she came to know The Lord, He was already pursuing her and making Himself known to her. As she was growing up, she often lamented the fact that she didn’t have a dad. She believed that so many of her problems would have been solved if she would have had a father in her life. Then she realized that God was the Father that has always been there– protecting her and providing for her.
HEALING
Healing is not linear, there is no “one size fits all” to healing.
The stamp and identity of Daughter of God did heal something within Tori, but there was more healing that needed to be done in her heart and life.
Her emotional wounds were metaphorically dressed and covered in balm, but Tori would rip open the wounds time and time again. She struggled with codependency and had patterns of dysfunctional relationships.
Through learning about attachment styles, she realized that she had insecure attachments that would cause her to latch onto people and put too many pressures and expectations on those relationships. She was comfortable in the dysfunction because it was all she had ever known in her life.
By recognizing these patterns, she was able to begin to find freedom and healing and create healthy boundaries for herself.
When people hurt you, they are responsible for that. However, at the same, you are responsible for your healing, actions, and the relationships and patterns that you continue to enter into.
BREAKING THE PATTERNS
Tori’s book breaks down 14 lies that people tend to function from when they are walking in these dysfunctional patterns.
Lie #1: Leaving is Not Loving
This often stems from a deep fear of abandonment, but sometimes you have to leave in order to be loving.
You have to know the lies that you are functioning from, then you can begin to recognize them and speak truth into those lies. They can often be very subtle. This is why patterns are hard to break– they are what you have always known and what you are used to.
God will often place people in your life that will show you His love. These people may be used to call you up and help you become a healthier version of yourself.
Sometimes we spend so much time chasing after people who will never love us that we miss all of the incredible people in our lives that DO love us and are rooting for us!
GOD AS FATHER
Our earthly view of a father is different from the Heavenly view. God adopts us as his children and He welcomes us into His family.
Just because it is broken on earth, doesn’t mean that it is broken in Heaven. We live in a broken world, but God has come to redeem the brokenness. We cannot look at Him through the lens of the world, rather we need to look at the world through the lens of our Abba, Father.
He is making all things good and right.
God has welcomed you into His Kingdom. People on earth may not want you, but the King of the Universe does want you!
God did a good job of making you and the pieces of you that are of God are good!
You can walk into the New Year with God-rooted confidence!
WEAKNESS IN GOD’S KINGDOM
Exposing your vulnerabilities and shortcomings is your strength! God has created you to be in community and share your weaknesses with those around. This is how we can help each other know that we are not alone.
IDENTITY IN CHRIST
You are a son or daughter of the Most High God.
You are beloved.
You are made with a purpose and there is a beautiful plan for your life.
You can prove any naysayers wrong when you are in Christ.
If you are struggling to believe these things, ask God to prove them to you. Ask God to blow you away with his provision and love.
May the prayer of our hearts be: “Abba, I belong to you.”
There is nothing to fear because you belong to The Father.
FINAL THOUGHTS
If you are feeling hopeless in this season, please remember that you are incredibly loved. There is a plan and purpose for your life. There is someone who needs what you have to offer the world, they need your story.
Sometimes it is easy to speak truth over other people, but we don’t believe it for ourselves. But whatever you would say to encourage someone else is also true for YOU!
When the dark thoughts are swirling, remember that the love and truth that you believe is accessible for someone else is also accessible to you.
NEXT STEPS
Here are a few action steps to help you dip deeper this week!
If you are struggling to believe the truth about who God says you are, ask God to prove them to you. Ask Him to blow you away with Mis provision and love.
Spend 2-3 minutes in silence today and take some deep breaths as you repeat: “Abba, I belong to you.” Breathe in on “Abba” and breathe out on “I belong to you”.
Thank you, as always, for listening! Please remember that everything we do is funded by those who benefit from our ministry. Our ministry a 501(c)3, so your contribution is tax-deductible.
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The Collected Podcast is a production of Collected Ministries, a non-profit organization dedicated to helping disciples of Jesus discover and live from their true identity in Christ, recognize and walk in their divine purpose within the Kingdom of God, and experience growth in their capacity for mature, healthy relationships.
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The Collected Podcast is produced by Jes French and edited by Jacob Early. Cover art designed by Ben Biondo.