S3 Episode #11- Desiree Bernard
THE ONE WITH DESIREE BERNARD
Let’s get to know Desiree, in her own words!
“I'm a Southern California native living in the greater Charlotte area now for 10 years. I'm not an accomplished artist, or talented musician, but what I am good at I share with my closest people. You won't see my name in news stands, on books, or in a gallery, but you might see my kid's clever humor on my Instagram. In my 31, almost 32 years, I've navigated abandonment, sexual trauma, death, divorce, motherhood, singleness, and the healing and hope that Jesus has brought through every detail. Life, as it does so well, hasn't' turned out the way I had hoped it would but with Jesus, I've learned that sorrow, grief and disappointment do not hold the total value of my circumstances or the greater perspective of my reality. Jesus has taught me and is teaching me how to hold the tension between shattering heartbreak and knowing the hope that lies ahead.
I haven't worked on any "projects" that I could share but maybe one day! For now, I'm just living an ordinary life raising my kid and trying to figure out what God has next.”
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When we go through devastating loss, there is a season of also mourning the loss of who we once were. Desiree shares that after her divorce, she felt that all she would ever know was grief and sorrow— that the ‘joy-filled Desiree’ was gone forever. One night, diving home from Bible study, she was grieving— feeling alone and abandoned, like her life was over— when Jesus met her on the road in a breathtaking show of heat lightening. It was beating in the clouds like the rhythm of a heartbeat. She felt God telling her, “Desiree, I will resuscitate your life. I’m going to bring you joy and passion. You think it’s over, but it’s so not over.”
God is with us in our grief. He knowns what we are feeling. We are not alone.
Standing on the pillar vs. resting in peace
Desiree shard the imagine of standing on a pillar in the middle of the ocean, with the waves and wind whipping around her. She was standing firm, but it was so difficult and chaotic. The next image was of her in a protective bubble on the ocean floor, sitting peacefully. She felt God telling her, “Yes, you’re standing firm and you know me. You foundation is good, but you don’t need to stand above the water and feel the chaos around you. I have something so much better for you. I want to pull you underneath and anchor you. The chaos is still happening up above, but under the ocean there is peace and serenity.”
How do we get to the place of peace when life is unpredictable? What do you do when things don’t work out?
God is good and he sees. His heart aches with us. The story is not over. Sorrow will not have the last say. God can take the pain, turn it on its head and use it for His good.
Expectations and Assumptions
God’s redemption can still exist even when things don’t turn out how we expected them too.
God often shows up in ways that we might not have been able to see if it wasn’t for our pain.
God uses every single detail.
God is still who He says He is.
If your worst fears happen… where does that leave you and God? He has been there all along. He will never leave you. Even if ________ happens, God is still good.
Thoughts on moving through grief
Take it one moment at a time. You’re going to get through it, but when you’re in the grief your capacity to see out of it is very small.
Trying to stay present.
Find one moment each day where you saw God meet you. Slow down, breath, and find the pockets of joy as they happen.
“Collect treasures of joy.”
Practical Steps
Journal your prayers, struggles, doubts, fears and gratitudes.
Book Recommendations:
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard
Podcast Recommendations for The Enneagram:
EnneaSummer Episodes on That Sounds Fun! Podcast with Annie F. Downs
Final Thoughts
Holding the tension between shattering heartbreak and hope.
The disappointments in your life does not define who you are. In the heartbreak, God can meet you so intimately and bring sweet moments out of the sorrow.
God is present in the moments of both joy and sorrow. We don’t need to ignore the sadness or pretend it doesn’t exist.
Be gentle with yourself in the process.
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